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The Evster

  1. The Evster figures out who you should root for in the MLB playoffs

    Oct 11, 2013, 7:17 AM EDT


    Even though most baseball fans could not tell you one player on the Oakland A’s, people are going bonkers for this year’s major league playoffs. Of the four teams left (the Cardinals, Dodgers, Red Sox and Tigers), all are legitimate clubs with rich histories, dope uniforms and no Chad Durbins. It’s nice that we get to see…

  2. The Evster breaks down the clammiest roster in Sixers history

    Oct 4, 2013, 7:17 AM EDT


    There are some things we know for sure about this year’s Sixers: Evan Turner will dribble around like a hunchback and shoot stepback jumpers off the side of the backboard. Thaddeus Young will make ridiculous corkscrew layups while occasionally smashing head first into the stanchion under the basket. Kwame Brown will do nothing. Absolutely nothing.…

  3. The oldest man in the world, Jamie Moyer, talks pitching and sports psychology on NPR’s Fresh Air

    Oct 3, 2013, 9:03 AM EDT


    The “Jamie Moyer for Phillies Pitching Coach” buzz is picking up quite a bit of steam after the 49-yr-old pitcher (he still hasn’t technically retired!) sat down yesterday with NPR’s Dave Davies to discuss his mental approach to baseball. Moyer, the first human born with an actual noodle for an arm, credits former Oakland A’s…

  4. The Evster weighs in on hip, trendy bowling alleys vs. classic, colossal dumps

    Sep 27, 2013, 7:11 AM EDT

    cover bowling

    “There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don’t. My ex-wife loves him.” – Bob Wiley, What About Bob In the past decade, a seismic shift has taken place in the world of bowling alley construction. Trendy, bonkers bowling alleys like North Bowl and Lucky Strike…

  5. The Evster: Watching a Game at the Linc. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly Weirdos

    Sep 20, 2013, 7:15 AM EDT

    this guy does not like to keep it down

    According to a recent survey, research shows that 83% of NFL fans prefer to watch football games from the comfort of their own homes. Only 16% would rather view the game at a stadium while one person (me) prefers to watch while peering through a third story window outside of a Saint Joseph’s University sorority…

  6. The Evster: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the San Diego Chargers, But Were Afraid to Google

    Sep 13, 2013, 9:15 AM EDT


    Ohhhhhh, baby! This Sunday rekindles the bitter rivalry between our beloved Eagles and their longtime enemies to the west, the San Diego Chargers. There’s no love lost between these two teams, like the Steelers and Browns or Duke vs North Carolina, Philadelphia and San Diego are separated by only a short 2,695 mile drive across…

  7. The Evster: So We’re Really Goin’ with Riley Cooper as our #2 WR, Huh?

    Sep 6, 2013, 12:56 PM EDT


    So what you’re telling me is that the Philadelphia Eagles – the organization who once employed Jerome Brown – is starting Riley Cooper at wide receiver. Riley Cooper. The 5th round draft pick and extremely mediocre wide receiver who also happens to have a really shafty haircut (and tends to be somewhat of a racist).…

  8. The Evster’s Guide to Annoying Sports Small Talk

    Aug 30, 2013, 10:23 AM EDT


    Labor Day is an excuse to BBQ. And BBQs are an excuse to eat massive amounts of food, run through sprinklers with your dog, and take a bunch of hallucinogenics with your whacked-out neighbor, Carl. Unfortunately, most BBQs also require you to talk sports with grown men wearing socks and flip flops. That’s all right though,…

  9. The Evster’s Guide to the NFL’s Old Faces in New Places

    Aug 23, 2013, 7:55 AM EDT

    Danny Woodhead

    Last week during my fantasy football draft, I was shocked to find out how many important players switched teams this summer. As the clock ticked down and my blood pressure rose, I scrambled through cheat sheets and depth charts in an effort to figure out which players would elevate their games in their new surroundings.…

  10. The Evster Asks “What Kind of Soccer Fan Are You?”

    Aug 16, 2013, 10:46 AM EDT

    Just a guy wearing a horse head.

    Like it or not, soccer fever has swept the US. And while casual fans are experiencing some light sniffles before the new season, a host of white people have become fully consumed by the virus, barfing their brains out in anticipation of this weekend’s fixtures. On Saturday and Sunday morning, they will invade our pubs, wear…

  11. The Evster Gives Chip Kelly Some Tips Before his Debut

    Aug 9, 2013, 10:06 AM EDT

    Chip Kelly

    Hi Chip. Big game Friday night. Well, not really. It’s just preseason, it doesn’t really matter, and in the grand scheme of things (and in the grand scheme of the world), this is probably one of the least mattering events of all time. Unfortunately, you coach in a town filled with raging lunatics, so it…

  12. The Evster’s Midseason WNBA Awards

    Aug 2, 2013, 8:25 AM EDT


    It’s been another roller coaster season in the WNBA filled with ups and downs and women throwing the ball off the bottom of the backboard and right back into their own faces. In the East, the Chicago Sky (led by local hero Elana Delle Donne) have SKY’ED to the top of the standings, while out…

  13. The Evster Kicks Ryan Braun Out of the Tribe

    Jul 26, 2013, 10:47 AM EDT


    I don’t think you realize how devastating this whole Ryan Braun steroids thing is to Jewish people. To most non-Jews, it was just “another dude on PEDs” and doesn’t matter because “the Milwaukee Brewers aren’t even a real team” and another reminder that “I have to go to the dentist”. But to an entire population…

  14. The Evster’s Guide to an Enjoyable Mini Golf Experience

    Jul 19, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT

    Nice gazebo, via

    Let me just start by saying that I am not one of those über-serious miniature golf weirdos who feels the game needs to be played a “certain way” in order to have fun. This is mini golf for crying out loud — a game played by children, adults, and sweaty disgusting teenagers who make out…

  15. The Evster Repairs the Images of Bynum, Lindros, Rolen and McNabb

    Jul 12, 2013, 10:55 AM EDT

    I cannot wait to heckle Andrew Bynum when he comes back to the Wells Farg. I might even make a sign, even though I recognize that there’s nothing lamer than making a sign, and nothing more annoying than sitting behind a fan holding one up. And yet I’m still considering it. Right now my #1…

  16. The Evster’s Guide to Sports on TV this Weekend not Involving Laynce Nix

    Jul 5, 2013, 12:15 PM EDT

    Tennis: 2013 Wimbledon Bartoli vs Flipkens

    While many Philly sports fans will spend their Independence Day weekends outside having cookouts or going to the beach or heading down to Citizens Bank Park to check out KEVIN THE FRANDSINATOR FRANDSEN, I will be staying on my couch to limit my chances of getting skin cancer. If you too are terrified of THE…

  17. The Evster Breaks Down the NBA Lottery

    Jun 28, 2013, 12:26 PM EDT


    Little known fact: every blog post on this website must be about Philadelphia. I once failed to mention Thaddeus Young in a post about who has the smoothest calves in the NBA (it’s Udonis Haslem) and Enrico banned me from the site for three months. I wasn’t even sure what he meant — was I…

  18. The Evster Catches You Up on the NBA Finals

    Jun 20, 2013, 10:10 AM EDT

    Heat fans

    Look, I like Carlos Zambrano. I think he’s a very interesting fella and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him pummel those Gatorade coolers. I also like Zac MacMath. When I went to see the Union play Real Madrid last summer, I walked into the Linc right behind his entire family who were all wearing MacMath jerseys.…

  19. The Evster’s Top Six Reasons to Keep Cliff Lee

    Jun 7, 2013, 11:05 AM EDT


    Full disclosure: I have watched a grand total of five innings of Phillies baseball this year, and four of those innings were on Tuesday night. (I really like that Jeff Mayberry fella!) But despite my lack of viewing, I still follow what’s going on, am aware that Cliff Lee has been amazing, and am not…

  20. The Evster’s Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

    May 17, 2013, 10:57 AM EDT

    Screen shot 2013-05-17 at 9.52.53 AM

    The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City. Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He’s rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that’s right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it’s really…

  21. The Evster Checks In on Desean Jackson’s Twitter Account

    May 10, 2013, 11:49 AM EDT


    If you’re not on Twitter yet, then you’re living a lie. Between Coco tweeting out pics of her bonkers bazooka butt, Rob Delaney’s absurdity and Richard Simmons’ zest for absolutely everything (he’s going to the movies today!), Twitter is by far the best thing going in this world. Even better than Federal Donuts. Yep, I…

  22. The Evster Searches the Internets for the Best Chris Wheeler

    May 3, 2013, 11:10 AM EDT

    Chris Wheeler is obviously not the best broadcaster in the biz (that’d be the “Boom Goes the Dynamite Guy”), but he’s also not the worst (that’d be Tim McCarver). He’s just Chris Wheeler. Just plain ole, normal, not that interesting, perfectly fine, whatever, he’s a white dude, Chris Wheeler.

    And it’s not like we expect the Phillies to hire the greatest commentators in the country, but we do at least expect them to employ the greatest Chris Wheeler. So I figured why not do some internet sleuthing to see how the Phillies’ Chris Wheeler stacked up against other Chris Wheelers.

  23. Dude, You Should Totally Go to the Penn Relays This Weekend

    Apr 26, 2013, 11:10 AM EDT

    Look, I hate to be the one who breaks it to ya, but the Phillies stink. They’re terrible. I mean, one of the guys on their team is named “Laynce.” Not Lance. Laynce. That’s no way to spell a name. So the fact that the Phils are playing at 1pm this Saturday doesn’t matter. You don’t have to watch. Stop wasting your time, stop cheering for a bunch of losers and go do something productive with your Saturday afternoon for once in your boring, miserable life. Head down to Franklin Field for the most awesome, ridiculous, exciting afternoon ever.

    Don’t believe me?

    Don’t think a track and field meet can be that exciting? Keep reading, Laynce. Keep reading.

  24. Its Chester vs. Lower Merion (again): Fridays Battle at Nova is a Rematch of Last Years District and State Finals

    Mar 1, 2013, 10:10 AM EDT

    If styles make fights, then Friday’s matchup between No. 1 Chester and No. 2 Lower Merion should be like a bonkers battle of the Klitschko brothers. Chester, with their fast-paced, get up in your grill, crash the boards, stuff it down your throat style, take on Lower Merion, with their fast-paced, get up in your…

  25. The Evsters Top 8 Things Worth Discussing About NBA All Star Saturday

    Feb 18, 2013, 11:29 AM EDT

    There are two types of people in this world: those who enjoy life, and those who enjoy sweatpants. Luckily for you, I prefer the latter, and spent my entire Saturday night on my couch, knuckle deep in a bag of Doritos, watching every minute of the NBA’s annual semi-interesting, kind of lame, sort of amazing,…