Jun 20, 2013, 10:10 AM EST
Look, I like Carlos Zambrano. I think he’s a very interesting fella and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him pummel those Gatorade coolers. I also like Zac MacMath. When I went to see the Union play Real Madrid last summer, I walked into the Linc right behind his entire family who were all wearing MacMath jerseys.…
Jun 7, 2013, 11:05 AM EST
Full disclosure: I have watched a grand total of five innings of Phillies baseball this year, and four of those innings were on Tuesday night. (I really like that Jeff Mayberry fella!) But despite my lack of viewing, I still follow what’s going on, am aware that Cliff Lee has been amazing, and am not…
May 17, 2013, 10:57 AM EST
The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City. Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He’s rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that’s right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it’s really…
May 10, 2013, 11:49 AM EST
If you’re not on Twitter yet, then you’re living a lie. Between Coco tweeting out pics of her bonkers bazooka butt, Rob Delaney’s absurdity and Richard Simmons’ zest for absolutely everything (he’s going to the movies today!), Twitter is by far the best thing going in this world. Even better than Federal Donuts. Yep, I…
May 3, 2013, 11:10 AM EST
Chris Wheeler is obviously not the best broadcaster in the biz (that’d be the “Boom Goes the Dynamite Guy”), but he’s also not the worst (that’d be Tim McCarver). He’s just Chris Wheeler. Just plain ole, normal, not that interesting, perfectly fine, whatever, he’s a white dude, Chris Wheeler.
And it’s not like we expect the Phillies to hire the greatest commentators in the country, but we do at least expect them to employ the greatest Chris Wheeler. So I figured why not do some internet sleuthing to see how the Phillies’ Chris Wheeler stacked up against other Chris Wheelers.
Apr 26, 2013, 11:10 AM EST
Look, I hate to be the one who breaks it to ya, but the Phillies stink. They’re terrible. I mean, one of the guys on their team is named “Laynce.” Not Lance. Laynce. That’s no way to spell a name. So the fact that the Phils are playing at 1pm this Saturday doesn’t matter. You don’t have to watch. Stop wasting your time, stop cheering for a bunch of losers and go do something productive with your Saturday afternoon for once in your boring, miserable life. Head down to Franklin Field for the most awesome, ridiculous, exciting afternoon ever.
Don’t believe me?
Don’t think a track and field meet can be that exciting? Keep reading, Laynce. Keep reading.
Its Chester vs. Lower Merion (again): Fridays Battle at Nova is a Rematch of Last Years District and State Finals
Mar 1, 2013, 10:10 AM EST
If styles make fights, then Friday’s matchup between No. 1 Chester and No. 2 Lower Merion should be like a bonkers battle of the Klitschko brothers. Chester, with their fast-paced, get up in your grill, crash the boards, stuff it down your throat style, take on Lower Merion, with their fast-paced, get up in your…
Feb 18, 2013, 11:29 AM EST
There are two types of people in this world: those who enjoy life, and those who enjoy sweatpants. Luckily for you, I prefer the latter, and spent my entire Saturday night on my couch, knuckle deep in a bag of Doritos, watching every minute of the NBA’s annual semi-interesting, kind of lame, sort of amazing,…
Feb 3, 2013, 11:54 AM EST
Hey SPORTS FAN, you think you’re ready for THE BIG GAME? You’ve got chili on the stove, a full pack of Imodium, and the Puppy Bowl on DVR, but WHO YA GONNA ROOT FOR? You GOTTA root for someone. You can’t not ROOT. This is AMERICA. The land where puppies play FOOTBALL!
It’s tough with these two teams — there’s no clear underdog and there’s no downright villain. Frank Gore is a G, but Jim Harbaugh is a tweedle. Ray Rice is a bowling ball, but Ray Lewis is a dork. B-More killed Stringer Bell, but San Fran birthed Uncle Joey. In the NFL, in tight situations like this, it all comes down to special teams, which is why I’m picking my squad based on punters.
You might be thinking, “Punters? Punters? We sittin’ here, I’m supposed to be the franchise playa, and we in here talkin’ bout punters?”
Jan 24, 2013, 12:55 PM EST
So you wanna be a baller.
You’ve got a dope haircut, some fresh sneaks and a $400-a-week cocaine habit, but do you have the one key attribute that certifies your P.I.M.P. status? No, I’m not talking about cocaine, you have the cocaine, you have plenty of cocaine – and I’m not talking about “power” or “respect” or “swag” or any of that dumb stuff that doesn’t really mean anything – I’m talking about a jersey, an authentic NBA jersey. Didn’t you read the title of this post? It’s not like it should be a surprise, this article is gonna be about jerseys, all about jerseys. It’s right up top in huge bold print. Geez.
For a long time now, ever since Grant Hill was collecting an NBA paycheck, authentic jerseys have been the official #1 status symbol in the hip-hop world. From rappers to hustlas to Jewish kids on the Main Line, anyone who’s anyone has rocked a jersey. Check out this incredibly cool dude stuntin’ in his 1988 Portland Trailblazers’ Clyde Drex.
Jan 2, 2013, 1:09 PM EST
The New Year is all about reflecting on the past, looking forward to the future, and according to my wife: not shaving your legs until mid March/early April. So seeing that this is the time for Best Of columns (and because I couldn’t think of a decent thread for this post), here are my Year-End…
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