Sep 6, 2013, 12:56 PM EDT
So what you’re telling me is that the Philadelphia Eagles – the organization who once employed Jerome Brown – is starting Riley Cooper at wide receiver. Riley Cooper. The 5th round draft pick and extremely mediocre wide receiver who also happens to have a really shafty haircut (and tends to be somewhat of a racist).…
Aug 30, 2013, 10:23 AM EDT
Labor Day is an excuse to BBQ. And BBQs are an excuse to eat massive amounts of food, run through sprinklers with your dog, and take a bunch of hallucinogenics with your whacked-out neighbor, Carl. Unfortunately, most BBQs also require you to talk sports with grown men wearing socks and flip flops. That’s all right though,…
Aug 23, 2013, 7:55 AM EDT
Last week during my fantasy football draft, I was shocked to find out how many important players switched teams this summer. As the clock ticked down and my blood pressure rose, I scrambled through cheat sheets and depth charts in an effort to figure out which players would elevate their games in their new surroundings.…
Aug 16, 2013, 10:46 AM EDT
Like it or not, soccer fever has swept the US. And while casual fans are experiencing some light sniffles before the new season, a host of white people have become fully consumed by the virus, barfing their brains out in anticipation of this weekend’s fixtures. On Saturday and Sunday morning, they will invade our pubs, wear…
Aug 9, 2013, 10:06 AM EDT
Hi Chip. Big game Friday night. Well, not really. It’s just preseason, it doesn’t really matter, and in the grand scheme of things (and in the grand scheme of the world), this is probably one of the least mattering events of all time. Unfortunately, you coach in a town filled with raging lunatics, so it…
Aug 2, 2013, 8:25 AM EDT
It’s been another roller coaster season in the WNBA filled with ups and downs and women throwing the ball off the bottom of the backboard and right back into their own faces. In the East, the Chicago Sky (led by local hero Elana Delle Donne) have SKY’ED to the top of the standings, while out…
Jul 26, 2013, 10:47 AM EDT
I don’t think you realize how devastating this whole Ryan Braun steroids thing is to Jewish people. To most non-Jews, it was just “another dude on PEDs” and doesn’t matter because “the Milwaukee Brewers aren’t even a real team” and another reminder that “I have to go to the dentist”. But to an entire population…
Jul 19, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT
Let me just start by saying that I am not one of those über-serious miniature golf weirdos who feels the game needs to be played a “certain way” in order to have fun. This is mini golf for crying out loud — a game played by children, adults, and sweaty disgusting teenagers who make out…
Jul 12, 2013, 10:55 AM EDT
I cannot wait to heckle Andrew Bynum when he comes back to the Wells Farg. I might even make a sign, even though I recognize that there’s nothing lamer than making a sign, and nothing more annoying than sitting behind a fan holding one up. And yet I’m still considering it. Right now my #1…
Jul 5, 2013, 12:15 PM EDT
While many Philly sports fans will spend their Independence Day weekends outside having cookouts or going to the beach or heading down to Citizens Bank Park to check out KEVIN THE FRANDSINATOR FRANDSEN, I will be staying on my couch to limit my chances of getting skin cancer. If you too are terrified of THE…
Jun 28, 2013, 12:26 PM EDT
Little known fact: every blog post on this website must be about Philadelphia. I once failed to mention Thaddeus Young in a post about who has the smoothest calves in the NBA (it’s Udonis Haslem) and Enrico banned me from the site for three months. I wasn’t even sure what he meant — was I…
Jun 20, 2013, 10:10 AM EDT
Look, I like Carlos Zambrano. I think he’s a very interesting fella and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him pummel those Gatorade coolers. I also like Zac MacMath. When I went to see the Union play Real Madrid last summer, I walked into the Linc right behind his entire family who were all wearing MacMath jerseys.…
Jun 7, 2013, 11:05 AM EDT
Full disclosure: I have watched a grand total of five innings of Phillies baseball this year, and four of those innings were on Tuesday night. (I really like that Jeff Mayberry fella!) But despite my lack of viewing, I still follow what’s going on, am aware that Cliff Lee has been amazing, and am not…
May 17, 2013, 10:57 AM EDT
The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City. Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He’s rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that’s right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it’s really…
May 10, 2013, 11:49 AM EDT
If you’re not on Twitter yet, then you’re living a lie. Between Coco tweeting out pics of her bonkers bazooka butt, Rob Delaney’s absurdity and Richard Simmons’ zest for absolutely everything (he’s going to the movies today!), Twitter is by far the best thing going in this world. Even better than Federal Donuts. Yep, I…
May 3, 2013, 11:10 AM EDT
Chris Wheeler is obviously not the best broadcaster in the biz (that’d be the “Boom Goes the Dynamite Guy”), but he’s also not the worst (that’d be Tim McCarver). He’s just Chris Wheeler. Just plain ole, normal, not that interesting, perfectly fine, whatever, he’s a white dude, Chris Wheeler.
And it’s not like we expect the Phillies to hire the greatest commentators in the country, but we do at least expect them to employ the greatest Chris Wheeler. So I figured why not do some internet sleuthing to see how the Phillies’ Chris Wheeler stacked up against other Chris Wheelers.
Apr 26, 2013, 11:10 AM EDT
Look, I hate to be the one who breaks it to ya, but the Phillies stink. They’re terrible. I mean, one of the guys on their team is named “Laynce.” Not Lance. Laynce. That’s no way to spell a name. So the fact that the Phils are playing at 1pm this Saturday doesn’t matter. You don’t have to watch. Stop wasting your time, stop cheering for a bunch of losers and go do something productive with your Saturday afternoon for once in your boring, miserable life. Head down to Franklin Field for the most awesome, ridiculous, exciting afternoon ever.
Don’t believe me?
Don’t think a track and field meet can be that exciting? Keep reading, Laynce. Keep reading.
Its Chester vs. Lower Merion (again): Fridays Battle at Nova is a Rematch of Last Years District and State Finals
Mar 1, 2013, 10:10 AM EDT
If styles make fights, then Friday’s matchup between No. 1 Chester and No. 2 Lower Merion should be like a bonkers battle of the Klitschko brothers. Chester, with their fast-paced, get up in your grill, crash the boards, stuff it down your throat style, take on Lower Merion, with their fast-paced, get up in your…
Feb 18, 2013, 11:29 AM EDT
There are two types of people in this world: those who enjoy life, and those who enjoy sweatpants. Luckily for you, I prefer the latter, and spent my entire Saturday night on my couch, knuckle deep in a bag of Doritos, watching every minute of the NBA’s annual semi-interesting, kind of lame, sort of amazing,…
Feb 3, 2013, 11:54 AM EDT
Hey SPORTS FAN, you think you’re ready for THE BIG GAME? You’ve got chili on the stove, a full pack of Imodium, and the Puppy Bowl on DVR, but WHO YA GONNA ROOT FOR? You GOTTA root for someone. You can’t not ROOT. This is AMERICA. The land where puppies play FOOTBALL!
It’s tough with these two teams — there’s no clear underdog and there’s no downright villain. Frank Gore is a G, but Jim Harbaugh is a tweedle. Ray Rice is a bowling ball, but Ray Lewis is a dork. B-More killed Stringer Bell, but San Fran birthed Uncle Joey. In the NFL, in tight situations like this, it all comes down to special teams, which is why I’m picking my squad based on punters.
You might be thinking, “Punters? Punters? We sittin’ here, I’m supposed to be the franchise playa, and we in here talkin’ bout punters?”
Jan 24, 2013, 12:55 PM EDT
So you wanna be a baller.
You’ve got a dope haircut, some fresh sneaks and a $400-a-week cocaine habit, but do you have the one key attribute that certifies your P.I.M.P. status? No, I’m not talking about cocaine, you have the cocaine, you have plenty of cocaine – and I’m not talking about “power” or “respect” or “swag” or any of that dumb stuff that doesn’t really mean anything – I’m talking about a jersey, an authentic NBA jersey. Didn’t you read the title of this post? It’s not like it should be a surprise, this article is gonna be about jerseys, all about jerseys. It’s right up top in huge bold print. Geez.
For a long time now, ever since Grant Hill was collecting an NBA paycheck, authentic jerseys have been the official #1 status symbol in the hip-hop world. From rappers to hustlas to Jewish kids on the Main Line, anyone who’s anyone has rocked a jersey. Check out this incredibly cool dude stuntin’ in his 1988 Portland Trailblazers’ Clyde Drex.
Jan 2, 2013, 1:09 PM EDT
The New Year is all about reflecting on the past, looking forward to the future, and according to my wife: not shaving your legs until mid March/early April. So seeing that this is the time for Best Of columns (and because I couldn’t think of a decent thread for this post), here are my Year-End…
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- Watch: The most Nick Young shot attempt in the history of Nick Young shot attempts
- Happy Black Friday: Evan Turner will pay you $500 for a $229 TV
- Shawn Andrews accuses Donovan McNabb of mistreatment, says he requested a trade
- Apparently, Darren Daulton had to stop Mitch Williams from 'attacking' Lenny Dykstra on Saturday
- Just 6 days to kickoff: Video to get ready for Union opener, some "kit" talk, and #USMNT shirts
- Maurice Edu has yet to play in Philly, yet he's already cooler (and nerdier) than you #throughglass
- Man hits ridiculous halfcourt shot during West Chester U. halftime contest, but won't get his $10,000
- This outlandish Penn State-themed Christmas light display is going to cost a lot of money
- Eagles #FlyEaglesFly team release another awesome video featuring DeSean's miracle return