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Happening Elsewhere: Baseball’s Triple Crown

Oct 4, 2012, 2:47 AM EDT

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Somehow, somewhere there is actually an ongoing conversation about who will win the American League MVP award. As an impartial observer, allow me to settle this for everybody, be it voters and fans alike.

Uh… I think it’s the guy who accomplished a feat that hasn’t been witnessed in 45 years.

With a .331 batting average, 44 home runs, and 139 runs batted in, the Detroit Tigers’ Miguel Cabrera became the first winner of baseball’s Triple Crown since Boston’s Carl Yastrzemski in 1967. Clearly this is not an event that occurs once every blue moon, or really at all anymore.

We’re going to pretend we don’t know the name of the other player in the debate, and simply ask: what debate? Cabrera won the Triple Crown, something most of us only believed was realistic when we were still children. Then his team won a division title and is heading to the postseason to boot.

Stop manufacturing drama! Anybody out there who is actually advocating another player for Most Valuable Player should be forced to turn in their credentials immediately.

You obviously have no clue what you are looking for.