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If You Need Someone to Wrestle a Bear, Jonathan Papelbon Is Probably Your Guy, Says Ryan Howard

Mar 8, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT

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Sometime you may find yourself in a situation where there is a grizzly bear trying to get into your camp and steal all your peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches. Bears are always hungry. It can be a problem. So you might need someone to wrestle the bear. That’s where Jonathan Papelbon comes in handy.

Ryan Lawrence, the Phillies beat writer for the Daily News, put together an interesting yet flawed — more on that in a minute — “offbeat” Q&A with Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard earlier in the week and asked him some crazy stuff.

A sampling:

DN: Who in here would have the best chance at killing a bear in the woods?

RH: That’s where you have to find your hunters. I would say – I’d put Cookie in there, Cliff (Lee) in there.

DN: You don’t think Roy Halladay is keeping charts on the bear, figuring out its weaknesses?

RH: I’d probably say (Jonathan) Papelbon; he’d probably wrestle (the bear). I would say those three guys.

And later in their conversation:

[Papelbon walks into room.] See, doesn’t that look like someone who would wrestle a bear? Exactly.

We’re with you, Big Piece. Nick threw together the photoshop you see above to help nail that point home.

So about those flaws in the journalistic integrity of the Q&A… Howard is asked about his television watching habits and admits to watching way too many Real Housewives shows.

He’s admitted to this in the past as well.

Once Howard puts it out there though, Lawrence fails to ask the hard-hitting follow ups. What’s your favorite Real Housewives city? Who is your favorite Real Housewives character? Etc.?

Solid Q&A otherwise. And the correct answers are obviously New Jersey, and Kim Richards or Teresa Giudice.

>>Offbeat Q&A with Phillies’ Ryan Howard [DN]