Jon Stewart issues pathetic apology to Philadelphia, unearths Phillie Phanatic sex tape

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Jon Stewart ripped into everything Philadelphia holds dear on Tuesday night and on Wednesday he apparently felt bad about it. So to lead last night's show, Stewart made a half-assed attempt at an apology, mostly directed at the Phillie Phanatic who Stewart refers to by his alleged full name, Phillip E. Phanatic.

Pretty sure that's not really his name, Stewart. Do some fact checking one of these days.

Overall it's a pretty weak apology. But he does admit something that we've all known forever: Mr. Met's big head is totally stupid.

And he finishes with another vicious attack on the Phanatic by unearthing an alleged screen grab from a Phillie Phanatic, Billy the Marlin, and Fredbird of the St. Louis Cardinals sex tape.

My 7 and 11-year-old brothers who don't exist could have been watching! Now they might think it's okay for giant green fury mascots to sleep with pointy-nosed fish. What a bad man that Jon Stewart is. He owes us all another apology.

Related: Ryne Sandberg thought Stewart's bit was just alright

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