Philadelphia Phillies Exhaust Every Snarky Headline About Being Bad at Baseball

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This is Steve Susdorf. He plays for the Philadelphia Phillies.

The good news is the Phillies won't lose today. The bad news is the Phillies stink.

If you weren't paying attention over the weekend -- and really, we hope you weren't -- the Phillies continued their downward spiral into irrelevance by getting swept at the hands of the Detroit Tigers and as a bonus shin-kick they capped it off in pathetically ugly fashion.

Their losing streak stands at 8 games, the Phils sit 11 games out in the East and 9.5 out in the wild card. The trade deadline is two days away. It may not have officially sunk, but the ship has taken water and there's not enough life boats on board for everyone.

Let's see what the guys have to say about the latest laughable loss.

Jonathan Papelbon:

“I definitely didn't come here for this," the Phillies’ closer told MLB.com’s Todd Zolecki.

Oh. And:

"No, I would like to stay here. But if I'm going to have to put up with this year after year, then no, I don't want to be here. Why would you? Why would anybody?"

He has a point for once.

Jimmy Rollins:

“If there’s a bottom, this has to be it,” said Jimmy Rollins. “I can’t imagine things getting worse than they have this past week, culminating the way they did today.”

Don't be so sure.

Charlie Manuel:

Embarrassing? Ugly? Frightful? Go ahead and pick an adjective. Manager Charlie Manuel has a few of his own.

“When we play that bad, yeah, I’m upset. In some ways it’s embarrassing to me,” Manuel said. “We come to the ballpark every day to play and to play right and win the game. When we don’t play right and we play bad — very bad — it bothers me.”

Whatever.

I don't really know what to add at this point. Zoo with Roy pretty much nailed it.

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