Mar 11, 2013, 1:18 PM EST
He wants out of Orlando, he doesn’t want out of Orlando. He wants Stan Van Gundy fired, he doesn’t want Stan Van Gundy fired. He wants to dictate the terms of his free agency, he isn’t a free agent. He finally gets his wish to go to one of his two preferred markets, he realizes he doesn’t like getting called nasty names by his insane new teammate everyday.
That’s the last year of Dwight Howard’s life with a little back surgery and coach firing mixed in.
Anyway, Da-wight (Jeff Van Gundy/Chris Broussard pronunciation) is heading back to Orlando for a game with the Vucevics on Tuesday night and thinks he might get a little emotional.
Kobe Bryant, on the other hand, has no use for “feelings” and just wants to remind you what happened after Allen stepped over Lue.
“Emotional?! I’ll talk to him,” Bryant said, while seeming a bit exasperated. “Just go out there and bust they ass. Show them what they’re missing.
“Save the emotional s— for when you retire,” he added.
Bryant was asked how he’d handle a similar situation, and he answered just as we’ve come to expect.
“I’d tear ‘em up,” he said. “It’s like me going back to Philadelphia for the Finals [in 2001]. They hated me for it, but it is what it is, you know what I mean? They’ll appreciate him at the end of his career when it’s all said and done. But right now, no matter what he says, they’re going to boo him and they’re not going to like him right now.”
It’s not exactly like it, but it’s also not unlike those times he brings up Smush Parker out of nowhere just to rag on him. We’re the Smush Parker of professional basketball markets.
I wonder how Shaq handled going back to Orlando in ’97 …
“Shaq didn’t give a s—,” he said.
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