Dec 5, 2013, 4:20 PM EDT
With another Movember in the books as of last Saturday, it’s time for The 700 Level to take a look back at some of the fine mustaches that adorned the upper-lip areas of your favorite Philadelphia pro athletes.
Yes, mostly Flyers are featured. Sorry.
A relentless search of the interwebs and social media didn’t produce any clear evidence that any Eagles grew a Movember mustache. The Phillies aren’t in season so Cole Hamels’ superb effort from the beginning of the season was disqualified from contention.
It should be noted that most of the Flyers are still sporting their respective looks even though we’re now five days into December. Despite that detail, this is written in past tense since Movember is over.
[Related: All facial hair posts on the Level]
Got all that?
Here we go…
Downie, who scored his first goal back with the Flyers last night during the team’s 6-3 victory in Detroit, sported a magnificent mustache during Movember. It’s hard to tell but it looks like he may have even dyed it black, which would give him extra points. Seriously, he looked like he should have been collecting mushrooms, stomping on the heads of Koopa Troopas and trying to save Princess Peach alongside Mario and Luigi. Bravo, Mr. Downie.
We all know that Spencer Hawes loves him some America and isn’t afraid to let the public know how much he loves him some America. Well, his Movember ‘stache was so American that I can barely even put it into words. It was a hairy reminder of why we’re the No.1 country in the universe. Does he get a bonus since he also sported a mullet and a red, white and blue headband? You’re damn right he does. I like to imagine Spence spends his down time working on that mustache, wearing tank tops that feature the American flag and drinking Bud heavies.
Hartsy has been known to rock all different kinds of facial hair during his time with the Flyers. His full-beard look from the 2010 Stanley Cup Final reminiscent of Yukon Cornelius and/or Rowlf from “The Muppet Show” is a personal favorite. This Movember, Scotty decided to go with the Hulk Hogan-esque Fu Manchu. It was a safe play by Hartsy but you can never go wrong with a Fu Manchu. Still a real solid look.
During Movember 2011, Giroux took the then-unprecedented step of dying his feather duster-like mustache. It produced a glorious result. This year, he decided to stay with the ginger ‘stache. While it wasn’t bad, it just doesn’t live up to what he had two years ago. To his credit, the fullness of it was still there and that’s key. But the main lesson here is that dye is almost never a bad idea.
The Schenn Brothers (image via)
Luke Schenn is 24 years old. Brayden Schenn is 22 years old. Each sported particularly bad peachfuzz that I was able to grow in like sixth grade. They each get an “A” for effort but an “F” for execution. It’s not their fault, though. Genetics can be a kick to the groin sometimes. If it makes them feel any better, they’re professional hockey players and, well, I’m just a professional hockey blogger. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
BONUS: This photo of Hal Gill and Steve Downie (image via)
Oh my goodness. Where to even begin on this one? There’s so much going on here. Much like Hartnell, Gill went with the Fu Manchu. As stated above, you can never go wrong with a Fu Manchu. Didn’t’ think it was possible, but Downie’s mustache looked even more magnificent here. He looked like what Chuckie from the 90s kids TV show “Rugrats” would look like once he hit puberty. Kudos, gentlemen.
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