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@FakeWIPCaller’s Ten Best (And Ten Worst) Philadelphia Sports Moments of 2013

Dec 26, 2013, 11:04 AM EDT

source:  The year 2013 got off to a pretty good start for Philadelphia sports fans, with the firing on New Years’ Eve of Andy Reid. Unfortunately, nothing else good happened for quite awhile, with the Phillies, Sixers and Flyers all turning in awful seasons. It was another year without a local championship, just like all of them except for ’80, ’83 and ’08.

But there were happy developments too, even a few that didn’t involve Nick Foles. Here are the ten best and ten worst things that happened in local sports this year:


1. That Flyers line brawl, in which Ray Emery skated the length of the ice in order to deck the Capitals’ goalie, hereby kicking off one of the best weeks in Philadelphia sports history. Emery should never have to buy a drink in this town again.

2. Chip Kelly’s appearance at Wing Bowl. Sure, the season itself has been pretty exciting, too. But wasn’t that just awesome?

3. Nick Foles’ emergence as the best Eagles quarterback ever, or at least since Jeff Garcia.

source:  4. Riley Cooper’s complete and total redemption. After all those touchdowns, no one can ever say a bad word about him again.

5. No longer in Philadelphia: Andy Reid, Andrew Bynum, Nnamdi Asomugha,  Ilya Bryzgalov, Jason Babin, Juan Castillo, JIm Washburn, Delmon Young, Kwame Brown.

6. The Sixers finally discovered, years too late, that you have to lose to win.

7. The Redskins and Giants both suffered major, highly embarrassing franchise collapses. Your turn, Cowboys.

8. Chase Utley finally wrote back to Mac.

9. Bernie Parent’s surprising emergence as America’s leading sex advice columnist.

10. This.

And the worst:

1. The Eagles retiring Donovan McNabb’s number. A.J. Feeley was much more deserving.

2. Sam Hinkie’s outrageous refusal to give talk radio interviews during the offseason.

3. Sports Illustrated putting Nick Foles on the cover. It’s like they’re trying to destroy us on purpose.

4. The Sixers hiring a new coach without even considering Allen Iverson.

5. Ilya Bryzgalov giving an interview in which he praised Stalin and, even worse, criticized Philadelphia.

source: Getty Images6. The Phillies, continuing to hang on to their own expensive veteran players and not even lifting a finger to sign away other teams’ expensive veteran players.

7. Philadelphia was rejected as the host city for Wrestlemania in 2015, because apparently we’re “not friendly enough.” For Wrestlemania.

8. Nick Foles narrowly lost out to Pope Francis for Time’s Person of the Year.

9. Cary Williams on sconses.

10. Cary Williams on the field.

Other Philly sports takes:

- Awesome win for the Eagles Sunday night against the Bears. But it’s concerning to me that they couldn’t get to 60 points. I’m afraid that might come back to bite them.

- I hear Festivus was earlier in the week, although for me, every day is the Airing of the Grievances.

- Comcast this week showed Ruben Amaro talking on his BlackBerry. Yes, he still uses a BlackBerry.

- Welcome, Josh Innes. Looking forward to speaking with you.

Merry Christmas, everyone! It’s the one week out of the year when Santa Claus isn’t associated primarily with irate Eagles fans.

Follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter.

  1. GTown_Dave - Dec 26, 2013 at 11:08 AM

    #1 Best, No longer in Philadelphia: Michael Martinez.

  2. Jeff - Dec 26, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    How can there be no mention of La Salle’s stun to the sweet 16? The southwest philly floater should easily take the number 1 spot on this list.

  3. psudrozz - Dec 26, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    ” Emery should never have to buy a drink in this town again.”

    -side thread. What philly athletes should never have to buy a drink in this town?

    matt stairs immediately jumps to mind. i’d also go with ron hextall.

    • 2sentz - Dec 26, 2013 at 12:06 PM

      Cliff Lee

    • Franchise - Dec 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM

      Roy halladay

    • stb5048 - Dec 26, 2013 at 1:42 PM

      Bernie Parent

    • will - Dec 26, 2013 at 1:54 PM

      brian dawkins, probably doesn’t drink.

      allen iverson, probably shouldn’t have a drink.

    • willh888 - Dec 26, 2013 at 5:06 PM

      “What if Ian didn’t believe in sacrifice?”

      Beers forever.

    • eric snow - Dec 27, 2013 at 8:29 AM

      Kevin Ollie

  4. Mickey - Dec 26, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Keith Jones.

  5. poonjabber - Dec 26, 2013 at 5:06 PM

    You know, I can’t tell how much of this column is in jest, and how much of it is serious… Pick one or the other, you can’t mix bullshit with honesty.

    • 2sentz - Dec 26, 2013 at 6:55 PM

      Poon sadly he don’t get it. After his similar October post I wrote:

      “Most of these comments about Foles and Cooper seem serious, but these others about Manuel and trading Howard for pitching (or anything of value) are obviously satirical. And none are terribly amusing. I’m confused.”

      On the negatives above:
      6- Spot on funny
      7- Flat out false
      8- Sarcastic
      9- wtf
      10- No, Cary Williams has made some great plays and is far from the team’s biggest issue.

      This dude is all over the place.

      • willh888 - Dec 26, 2013 at 6:59 PM

        he might be aware of the confusion, considering I felt the same way when I used to listen to these dudes on these stations make good points with terrible supporting arguments and confusing, unexplainable dislike for various players which would end up making the listener (me) feel like removing their car radio with a sickle.

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