No D-Jax? No J-Roll? No Problem! @FakeWIPCaller weighs in

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It's been a week of turmoil for our local teams and a couple of their biggest stars, with DeSean Jackson supposedly about to be traded by the Eagles, and Jimmy Rollins reportedly on the outs with the Phillies, who are asking him to show "leadership."

If you ask me, good riddance to both.

First of all, we have Claude Giroux. He's all the superstar we need.

DeSean Jackson is bad news. He asked for a new contract one time. His house got robbed. Clearly, all the drama this guy brings is more trouble than he's worth.

And besides- it's Riley Cooper's time now. Cooper showed last season that he's able to overcome adversity, redeem himself completely, and emerge as a true  No. 1 receiver and leader. Cooper even got a big new contract, which is proof that here in America, anyone who gets drunk and drops n-bombs at a country music concert can succeed. We don't need a prima donna like Jackson around to get in his way.

Howard Eskin made a good point on the morning show today- even HE could catch 50 balls in the Chip Kelly offense. And whether Jackson stays or goes, the Eagles sure do have a ton of weapons on offense. So ha ha ha, Donovan.

When it comes to Jackson, the Eagles have plenty of options. Ship him to the 49ers for a couple of their linebackers, plus draft picks. Maybe send him to New England for a No. 1 and a couple of No. 2s. If Andy Reid wants him back, go for it, as long as we get a couple of elite pass rushers back.

When it comes to Jimmy Rollins, look- I agree with Ruben Amaro: It's important to keep the core of Howard, Utley and Rollins together for as long as possible because, no matter how old and expensive they get, it's only a matter of time before they bounce back and lead us to another championship. I get that. And I also understand the dream, with Rollins, Byrd, Abreu, Ed Wade and Larry Bowa in the fold, of reuniting the 2004 Phillies.

But eventually the shenanigans just get to be too much. I mean, he's threatening to block a trade! There's nothing Philadelphia hates more than a guy who wants to play here and refuses to leave.

At this point, there's nothing Jimmy gives you that Freddy Galvis can't do better. Plus, he's cheaper- I hear the Phillies' owners like that sort of thing.

So do this: Phillies, trade Rollins to the Detroit Tigers for Max Scherzer. The Tigers need a shortstop, and Scherzer has been the topic of all sorts of trade rumors. Boom, everybody's happy.

You say Rollins has a no-trade clause? Please. The Phillies should trade him anyway, just to send a message.

Other Philly sports takes:

- Please. Like the NCAA was ever going to let that 'Nova/St. Joe's matchup happen.

- Interested to hear that Sam Hinkie literally drove Evan Turner to the airport after he was traded. For three years, I volunteered that I would.

- If nothing else, the Sixers' 22-game losing streak should give the Phillies something to shoot for this year

- Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal calls the Phillies a "soap opera" and quotes scouts who call the Phillies "awful" and "painful to watch." Anyone else sick of the national media picking on our teams?

- This Deadspin bracket of "The Bitchiest, Most Defensive Fans In America" leaves out Philadelphia out completely. Not sure if we should be thankful, or deeply offended.

- You're not gonna believe it, but Andrew Bynum is out for "a while."

- And finally, I don't usually have much time for local newspaper columns. But this one was great, and this one was even better.

You can follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter

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