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Nats Motion Denied, Justice Wears Red, Insert Judicial Headline Here

May 30, 2011, 10:25 PM EDT

You want prima facie evidence that there were a ton of Phillies fans in D.C. on Monday? You don’t think Charlie Manuel’s managerial moves were subject to strict scrutiny? Does Roy Halladay have a fundamental right to dismiss hitters with extreme prejudice? Can I possibly work a writ of mandamus joke in here somewhere? No shot.

What in the world am I talking about? Well, noted Phillies fan and Supreme Court justice Samuel Alito (he’s the gentleman in the red shirt, dark shades, and white floating arrow over his head) took in Monday’s Phils/Nats game in D.C. Justice Alito, Ruben Amaro Jr. has got your commerce clause right here, son. Supreme Court jokes!