It wasn't bad enough that I had to listen to that god-awful song after each Blackhawks goal (7 times), or that I had to listen to it again after the final horn sounded to mark Chicago's game five victory (2 times), I even had to friggin' listen to one of the local reporters in the post-game interview room hum and whistle the damn thing (2 times) to really ensure my ears were bleeding.
You know how The Dude felt about the Eagles in "The Big Lebowski?" That's exactly how I feel about the Fratellis, the Scottish alternative rock band that sing the tune, "Chelsea Dagger," that the Blackhawks play at deafening levels in the United Center after each Chicago goal.
Hearing the song over and over while sitting in the United Center on Sunday night was an eerily similar experience to getting a cavity filled while sitting in a dentist's chair.
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The first few minutes of having your mouth wide open with a drill grinding against your teeth is entirely unpleasant. Yet the longer you sit there, the discomfort and pain becomes exponentially worse. I was literally squirming in my seat by the sixth or seventh time "Dagger" was blasted to the delight of the red sea of Chicagoans.
I did some research on the Blackhawks' use of the tune that was made famous in Amstel Light beer commercials. My Google results led me to what read like the beginning of a script for one of the "Saw" movie sequels.
CHICAGO -- It doesn't take long after a Blackhawks goal for
the frenzy to begin.A lamp flashes behind the net inside United Center. A horn loud enough
to rattle your teeth blares from the hanging scoreboard. An infectious
drum beat begins. Then feet start moving, hands clap, thousands of red
towels wave and there's enough rear-end shaking to make Shakira
jealous. Soon, a crowd of more than 20,000 delirious Hawks fans become
engrossed in the "Do, do, do ... do, do, do ..." chorus of a song called
"Chelsea Dagger."It's sung by the Fratellis, a relatively obscure English band whose
popular song also gained fame for being used in a beer commercial. It's
now become synonymous with the Blackhawks -- to the point where people
in Chicago subconsciously hum the tune, players know the lyrics and
even the city's piano bars are getting requests for it.
Upon further review, it was not slasher fiction, but rather the Blackhawks' official website.
News
I, of course, am not the first person to have nightmares with the soundtrack provided by the Fratellis. In fact, one intrepid reporter made the Montreal Canadiens unknowingly listen to the tune on his iPod. The U.S. government is considering employing the same tactic on terrorists during interrogation.
Chicagoans apparently have such poor taste in music that the song has recently sky-rocketed to be one of the ten most downloaded songs on iTunes.
The only good news on the evening? I learned that the Fratellis broke up.
>>Chelsea Dagger an unlikely theme [ESPN]
>>The story behind the Blackhawks' goal song [Mouthpiece Sports]