The Most Beautifulest Thing: Delmon Young, DFA'd

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If you're leaving work today and a total stranger comes up and gives you a big kiss seemingly out of nowhere, now you'll know why. In advance of tonight's game against the Washington Nationals, the Phillies have designated Delmon Young for assignment, cutting ties with the ne'er do well right fielder after 80 games in the Red and White. He will be replaced on the active roster by outfielder Casper Wells, who basically seems like the same player as Delmon with a lower batting average and less miserable defense.

The move was likely made to avoid Young hitting certain incentive-based rewards in his contract, including a $150k bonus he would have received for reaching 300 plate appearances. (He ended with 291.) Ruben Amaro Jr. also cited the old "younger players" defense as a reason to give Delmon the boot. Also, he was terrible and nobody liked him.

The former #1 overall pick ends his Phillies career a .261/.302/.397 hitter, whose mediocre offensive contributions and borderline catastrophic defense have him being worth -1.2 wins to the Fightins this season, according to Baseball-Reference. The nicest thing you could say about Delmon Young's time in Philadelphia is that at least it passed with him bringing about any PR disasters--like, say, throwing a bat at an umpire or repeatedly exclaiming the phrase "F---ing Jews!" in anger. His damage was kept entirely to the diamond, which was considerate of him.

Say hi to more Cody Asche, Darin Ruf and Kevin Frandsen in Delmon's absence, though what position any of these guys will be playing may end up a continuous night-by-night shuffle. With Young and Laynce Nix now surgically removed from the Phils roster, the only player remaining keeping the Phillies depressing is Delmon's twin brother Michael. Get rid of him next, and we're left a perfectly respectable crappy, play-out-the-string ballclub of unknown young'ns and likeable long-time vets. I'm pumped.

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