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The Evster

  1. The Evster’s Midseason WNBA Awards

    Aug 2, 2013, 8:25 AM EDT


    It’s been another roller coaster season in the WNBA filled with ups and downs and women throwing the ball off the bottom of the backboard and right back into their own faces. In the East, the Chicago Sky (led by local hero Elana Delle Donne) have SKY’ED to the top of the standings, while out…

  2. The Evster Kicks Ryan Braun Out of the Tribe

    Jul 26, 2013, 10:47 AM EDT


    I don’t think you realize how devastating this whole Ryan Braun steroids thing is to Jewish people. To most non-Jews, it was just “another dude on PEDs” and doesn’t matter because “the Milwaukee Brewers aren’t even a real team” and another reminder that “I have to go to the dentist”. But to an entire population…

  3. The Evster’s Guide to an Enjoyable Mini Golf Experience

    Jul 19, 2013, 12:30 PM EDT

    Nice gazebo, via

    Let me just start by saying that I am not one of those über-serious miniature golf weirdos who feels the game needs to be played a “certain way” in order to have fun. This is mini golf for crying out loud — a game played by children, adults, and sweaty disgusting teenagers who make out…

  4. The Evster Repairs the Images of Bynum, Lindros, Rolen and McNabb

    Jul 12, 2013, 10:55 AM EDT

    I cannot wait to heckle Andrew Bynum when he comes back to the Wells Farg. I might even make a sign, even though I recognize that there’s nothing lamer than making a sign, and nothing more annoying than sitting behind a fan holding one up. And yet I’m still considering it. Right now my #1…

  5. The Evster’s Guide to Sports on TV this Weekend not Involving Laynce Nix

    Jul 5, 2013, 12:15 PM EDT

    Tennis: 2013 Wimbledon Bartoli vs Flipkens

    While many Philly sports fans will spend their Independence Day weekends outside having cookouts or going to the beach or heading down to Citizens Bank Park to check out KEVIN THE FRANDSINATOR FRANDSEN, I will be staying on my couch to limit my chances of getting skin cancer. If you too are terrified of THE…

  6. The Evster Breaks Down the NBA Lottery

    Jun 28, 2013, 12:26 PM EDT


    Little known fact: every blog post on this website must be about Philadelphia. I once failed to mention Thaddeus Young in a post about who has the smoothest calves in the NBA (it’s Udonis Haslem) and Enrico banned me from the site for three months. I wasn’t even sure what he meant — was I…

  7. The Evster Catches You Up on the NBA Finals

    Jun 20, 2013, 10:10 AM EDT

    Heat fans

    Look, I like Carlos Zambrano. I think he’s a very interesting fella and I thoroughly enjoyed watching him pummel those Gatorade coolers. I also like Zac MacMath. When I went to see the Union play Real Madrid last summer, I walked into the Linc right behind his entire family who were all wearing MacMath jerseys.…

  8. The Evster’s Top Six Reasons to Keep Cliff Lee

    Jun 7, 2013, 11:05 AM EDT


    Full disclosure: I have watched a grand total of five innings of Phillies baseball this year, and four of those innings were on Tuesday night. (I really like that Jeff Mayberry fella!) But despite my lack of viewing, I still follow what’s going on, am aware that Cliff Lee has been amazing, and am not…

  9. The Evster’s Guide to Sprucing Up Your Sports Wardrobe

    May 17, 2013, 10:57 AM EDT

    Screen shot 2013-05-17 at 9.52.53 AM

    The other day, I saw this dude walking down 16th Street in Center City. Clearly, this guy is the coolest person in the world. He’s rocking a turquoise Charlotte Hornets shirt with turquoise jeans and yep, that’s right, look closely, those are turquoise New Balances. Amazing. And if you look to his right, it’s really…

  10. The Evster Checks In on Desean Jackson’s Twitter Account

    May 10, 2013, 11:49 AM EDT


    If you’re not on Twitter yet, then you’re living a lie. Between Coco tweeting out pics of her bonkers bazooka butt, Rob Delaney’s absurdity and Richard Simmons’ zest for absolutely everything (he’s going to the movies today!), Twitter is by far the best thing going in this world. Even better than Federal Donuts. Yep, I…

  11. The Evster Searches the Internets for the Best Chris Wheeler

    May 3, 2013, 11:10 AM EDT

    Chris Wheeler is obviously not the best broadcaster in the biz (that’d be the “Boom Goes the Dynamite Guy”), but he’s also not the worst (that’d be Tim McCarver). He’s just Chris Wheeler. Just plain ole, normal, not that interesting, perfectly fine, whatever, he’s a white dude, Chris Wheeler.

    And it’s not like we expect the Phillies to hire the greatest commentators in the country, but we do at least expect them to employ the greatest Chris Wheeler. So I figured why not do some internet sleuthing to see how the Phillies’ Chris Wheeler stacked up against other Chris Wheelers.

  12. The Evsters Top 8 Things Worth Discussing About NBA All Star Saturday

    Feb 18, 2013, 11:29 AM EDT

    There are two types of people in this world: those who enjoy life, and those who enjoy sweatpants. Luckily for you, I prefer the latter, and spent my entire Saturday night on my couch, knuckle deep in a bag of Doritos, watching every minute of the NBA’s annual semi-interesting, kind of lame, sort of amazing,…

  13. The Evsters Super Bowl Special Teams Breakdown

    Feb 3, 2013, 11:54 AM EDT

    Hey SPORTS FAN, you think you’re ready for THE BIG GAME? You’ve got chili on the stove, a full pack of Imodium, and the Puppy Bowl on DVR, but WHO YA GONNA ROOT FOR? You GOTTA root for someone. You can’t not ROOT. This is AMERICA. The land where puppies play FOOTBALL!


    It’s tough with these two teams — there’s no clear underdog and there’s no downright villain. Frank Gore is a G, but Jim Harbaugh is a tweedle. Ray Rice is a bowling ball, but Ray Lewis is a dork. B-More killed Stringer Bell, but San Fran birthed Uncle Joey. In the NFL, in tight situations like this, it all comes down to special teams, which is why I’m picking my squad based on punters.

    You might be thinking, “Punters? Punters? We sittin’ here, I’m supposed to be the franchise playa, and we in here talkin’ bout punters?”

  14. The Evsters Guide On: How To Make Your Own Jerseys

    Jan 24, 2013, 12:55 PM EDT

    So you wanna be a baller.

    You’ve got a dope haircut, some fresh sneaks and a $400-a-week cocaine habit, but do you have the one key attribute that certifies your P.I.M.P. status? No, I’m not talking about cocaine, you have the cocaine, you have plenty of cocaine – and I’m not talking about “power” or “respect” or “swag” or any of that dumb stuff that doesn’t really mean anything – I’m talking about a jersey, an authentic NBA jersey. Didn’t you read the title of this post? It’s not like it should be a surprise, this article is gonna be about jerseys, all about jerseys. It’s right up top in huge bold print. Geez.

    For a long time now, ever since Grant Hill was collecting an NBA paycheck, authentic jerseys have been the official #1 status symbol in the hip-hop world. From rappers to hustlas to Jewish kids on the Main Line, anyone who’s anyone has rocked a jersey. Check out this incredibly cool dude stuntin’ in his 1988 Portland Trailblazers’ Clyde Drex.

  15. The Evsters Year-End Best-Of 2012 Sixers Award Thingies

    Jan 2, 2013, 1:09 PM EDT

    The New Year is all about reflecting on the past, looking forward to the future, and according to my wife: not shaving your legs until mid March/early April. So seeing that this is the time for Best Of columns (and because I couldn’t think of a decent thread for this post), here are my Year-End…