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Why the Sixers Must Name Allen Iverson Head Coach

Jun 17, 2013, 11:34 AM EDT

Image (1) allen_iverson_ear.jpg for post 489102

The Philadelphia 76ers have spent the past month conducting one of the most boring, uneventful, irrelevant coaching searches in the history of sports.

Ever since the team announced the resignation of Doug Collins and the hiring of math nerd Sam Hinkie as general manager, we’ve seen nothing but candidates who are either retreads or assistants you’ve never heard of — and no indication that the team is in any hurry to actually hire someone.

And the guys they’ve considered don’t exactly excite me. Brian Shaw, an obscure 1980s Laker best known for dating Madonna? Kelvin Sampson, the guy who got fired from Indiana for NCAA violations? Jeff Hornacek, ’cause it turned out so well the last time he came to town? Chris Finch, you mean this guy?

Are any of these guys going to get our fanbase excited, make the Sixers relevant, or make tickets cost more than 72 cents on Stubhub? Of course not.

source:  I was intrigued by the recent move by the Brooklyn Nets to hire as their new coach Jason Kidd, a former star point guard who led the team to the finals as a player, only recently stopped playing, and had no prior coaching experience. I got to thinking- if only the Sixers had someone like that they could turn to…

Yes, the Sixers must hire Allen Iverson as their next head coach. And the more you think about it, the more of a no-brainer it is.

Everything good that has happened to the Sixers in the last two decades has been because of Allen Iverson. He led them to their only finals appearance and won their only MVP award. And more importantly, he’s respected by players and revered by fans. And yes, the man needs a job.

Now, I know what the naysayers are going to say.

How can we hire a coach who doesn’t like practice? To that I say, please. Where has practicing every day gotten the team in the last 15 years?

Sure, Iverson’s name in the last few years has often been associated with financial woes, alcoholism and gambling addiction. But to say that being broke, or that having a weakness for drinking and betting means you don’t deserve a job is a slap in the face to any fan in this great city who has ever dealt with any of the above. And didn’t Jason Kidd get popped for a DUI just a couple of months ago?

The question isn’t whether the Sixers can risk hiring Allen Iverson. It’s whether they can risk not hiring him. And to think- the Coach Iverson Era might even make Eskin’s show listenable again.

Other Philly sports takes:

- I heard Lenny Dykstra got out of jail yesterday. Can he be in the Phillies’ lineup today?

- I can’t believe this latest baseball steroid investigation. MLB should vacate the last five World Series and award them to the Phillies.

- It’s an outrage to me that Jason Peters was arrested for drag racing last week. The Eagles need to make it clear that such criminals aren’t tolerated on their team, and Michael Vick needs to take the lead in doing so.

- The Cary Williams Sconse interview was the most embarrassing of the year for a Philadelphia athlete, and that includes the time Ilya Bryzgalov praised Stalin.

- Just think, if only McNabb hadn’t blown it in the Super Bowl, that would’ve been Jeffrey Lurie’s Super Bowl ring that Vladimir Putin stole

- Let’s all shed a tear for Rick Reilly, who didn’t find Merion to his liking. Let’s hope next time Philadelphia hosts a major sporting event, they give more of an effort attending to the needs of big-time national sportswriters.

You can follow @FakeWIPCaller on Twitter here.

  1. Chris - Jun 17, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    Funny, thought it was April 1st for a second. This popped into my news feed at the same time I same an article that Iverson has abducted his children and is hiding them out in a Georgia hotel. Guy is more likely to end up in jail than in front of the Sixers’ bench.

    Reply
    • Rome - Jun 29, 2013 at 2:23 AM

      What the F#ck are you people on

      Reply
  2. Pete D - Jun 17, 2013 at 12:47 PM

    #FreeCoachIverson

    Reply
  3. Sean J - Jun 17, 2013 at 2:16 PM

    Whoever wrote this article wasn’t thinking clearly or seriously.

    Reply
  4. stan - Jun 17, 2013 at 2:54 PM

    Practice?!? We’re talkin’ ’bout practice?!?! Practice?!?

    Reply
  5. Simmonds17 - Jun 17, 2013 at 2:55 PM

    Now this is a writer who truly understands what a “no brainer” is.

    Reply
  6. willh888 - Jun 17, 2013 at 3:25 PM

    some of you guys are about as quick as stephen hawking dealing poker

    Reply
  7. Jsmith135 - Jun 18, 2013 at 12:18 PM

    What about McNabb?? He played ball at Syracuse

    Reply
  8. NICK R. - Jun 18, 2013 at 5:47 PM

    iverson is my favorite player of all time. but that is completely rediculous. Where has the team gotten with all that practice over 15 yrs, but that doesnt mean to not practice either or we wont get better. Yes, Jason Kidd has had some problems of his own, but nowhere near the problems that iversons had. This writer is a frickin idiot. If he got his stuf together to change the direction his life is headed, then that would be a great idea… Though i strongly disagree with this article, it couldnt hurt to bring him in as an assistant to help develope players skills, or even as a scouter for drafts, or advisor. but for a head coaching position? no!

    Reply
  9. ChrisD - Jun 18, 2013 at 10:40 PM

    Why didn’t Rick Reilly like Merion!? Oh right… no sick orphans to exploit in iambic pentameter.

    Reply
  10. Twitdalay - Jun 19, 2013 at 6:02 PM

    I think Iverson would make a good coach. Not everyone is perfect. Plus those issues have nothing to do with the game of basketball. Iverson is one of the best players in NBA history and for him to go back to the 76ers but as the head coach would be great. I’m sure that he has learned from the things he has said about practing. There’s no way he wouldn’t make the team practice anyways. I agree with the writer of the article

    Reply
    • bct2000 - Jul 2, 2013 at 7:08 AM

      The best players rarely make the best coaches. Throughout NBA history, the best coaches have been average or marginal players. A problem that most star players have is that the game comes so easily to them that they cannot relate to the struggles of a lesser player. A good coach has to adapt to the strengths and weaknesses of the players on the team. Most star players have trouble adjusting to this. Iverson relied a lot on his natural ability to cover up fundamental weaknesses in his game, and never did learn to correct many of these weaknesses. That would be a real problem for him as a coach. Conversely, the less talented players had to learn the game at a high level just to be able to compete, so they often make better coaches.

      Reply
  11. Bobcat - Jun 22, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    No!!! The Bobcats need to sign Iverson. He wouldn’t want to run the practices anyway.

    Reply
  12. Raines - Jun 22, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    Come on, now. Allen Iverson as coach? He would never even want to be a coach. He should be a part of the Sixers organization in some capacity, but not as a coach.

    Reply
  13. philly58 - Jun 30, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Uh, no thanks. Very Good player who rebelled against any kind of discipline. Could only imagine how bad the atmosphere would be as coach.

    Reply
  14. Kunk - Jul 1, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    I have not read this article but I agree completely with the headline. Thank you, Fakewip. You are truly a visionary.

    Reply
  15. Secret - Jul 3, 2013 at 2:53 AM

    Allen Iverson one of the best player.
    Allen IS MORE BETTER THAN KOBE AND LEBRON ALSO TONY PARKER AND AND DUNCAN AND ALSO WADE ALLEN IS NOW THE BEST PLAYER IN NBA IF HE IS IN NBA.

    Reply

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