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Abreu! 24! Derby! Cinco Tres!

Jul 11, 2005, 11:15 PM EDT

BobbyabreuhomerunderbyAlicia Machado must be proud.  Ortiz just choked and Abreu is in the finals against the hometown guy, Pudge Rodriguez.  I missed the first round madness because I was busy at work following the horrible ESPN home run tracker.  Scott called me periodically to tell me of the Abreu insanity.

10:54 – Any movie with Vince Vaughn is probably worth checking out.  I’m just happy Ben Stiller isn’t it it.  At least I hope not.  Can you really remake Bad News Bears????!??

10:59 – Chris Berman should be shot.  Bobby steps in.. Ball One.  Ball Two.  Ball Three.  Out1.  Long Fly ball!  Nope.  Damn it Bobby, that guy wants a house!  Back Back Back Gone!  1 Hr, 2 Out.  3 Out.  Damn it!  4 outs.  Damn.  5 outs.  He is looking tired, not looking good for our Phillie.

11:02 – Chris Berman should be shot.  Bobby gets 2 quick ones!  3 homers.  Towering shot!  4 Homers.  ouch. check swing?!  Wally wants that house Bobby!  5 HR!  6!  Bobby is feelin it!  36 on the night!  36!@#!

11:05 – 7!  Gone!  8!  Why can’t he do this in the 8th or 9th innings!?!?  7 outs.  Wow that was a long ball, 9 Hrs, 7 outs.  Foul.  8 outs.  Joe Morgan thinks 9 homers will be tough to beat in the finals.  He adjusted to get that barrel out in front.  Good barrel work Bobby.  10 Hrs!  Abreu gets harassed by Miguel Cabrera!  Vamos!  I think that’s what he said.  41 Home runs on the night!  Jebus.  Abreu won, this is over.  That sip of Gatorade really helped.  9 outs.  10.

11:09 – Bobby finishes with 41 home runs!  "I do the best that I can do to hit a homer here.  I think this is a beautiful night."  For all the shit Philly fans give Bobby, he really seems like a class act.

11:11 – Jimmy Rollins is shown cheer-leading, good work Jroll.

11:12 – Note to self: Buy a Chevy Truck, use my MasterCard more, buy another Chevy with employee discount.

11:17 – Pudge steps in.. Ball One.  Ball Two.  GONE.  1 Hr.  Gone.  2 Hr.  Uh oh Bobby, uh Oh.  Out1.  Out 2.   Out 3.   Out.  4 outs, 2 Hrs.  5 Outs.  Bobby is starting to look good.  Big Smile on Bobby’s face.  6 outs.  GONE!  4 Hrs.

11:20 – Fans are chanting for Pudge, Out 7.  Grounder to Rollins, Out 8.  Gone.  4 HRs.

11:23 – Bobby Wins!  I got lost looking up some stats.  Bobby, the second Phillie ever to compete in the HR Derby (Jim Thome 2004), wins it with a total of 41 HRs.

Hey Bobby, why don’t you hustle a little more in the outfield!  Boo! AHAHH I’m just kidding, Congrats to Bobby Abreu for representing Philadelphia and hitting the cover off of the ball in Detroit.  Good work Bobby, at least Phillies fans have one thing to cheer about this baseball season.  Now lead off tomorrow’s game with a solo shot!

Editor’s Note: All exclamation points in this post are used for embellishment as I am deliriously tired from too much work.  (Hence the lack up solid updates lately.)


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