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Even The Onion thinks Phillies stink

Dec 14, 2004, 1:53 AM EDT

From "MLB Promises Next Season Will Be Even More Predictable" over at Onion Sports:

"I don’t have time to leaf through box scores or sit through entire
games to know what’s going on in baseball," said Doug Wentel, a casual
Braves fan who takes comfort in knowing that his team will make the
playoffs each year, and never builds up expectations of them ever
advancing past the first round. "I want to be able to say ‘Not looking
good for the Cubbies, eh?’ or ‘How about that Barry Bonds?’ at any
given point during the season and seem like I know what I’m talking
about."

It’s not one of the best Onion articles ever but it has its moments.  What I found particularly interesting is no mention of the Phillies when talking about next year’s contenders.  Even the geeks over at the Onion know we stink.

Selig pointed out that at the trading deadline this year, nearly 20
teams had legitimate chances of making the playoffs, significantly
reducing the number of big-name salary-dump trades that fans have come
to know and expect. "This year, there were so many teams in the running
that fans were starting to experience information overload," Selig
said. "Next season, we’d like the teams with realistic postseason
chances whittled down to a manageable 10 by the All-Star break."

This bodes particularly well for the Yankees, Red Sox, Indians, Angels, A’s, Braves, Marlins, Cardinals, Astros, and Padres.

The Marlins?  The Padres?  What’s that about. 

Also extremely funny from the news in brief: First Report On Long-Term Effexts Of Breakdancing Released  | Fox Cancels ALCS After Just Two Episodes

In real Phillies news, The Bucks County Courier Times is reporting that Gerry Hunsicker is the leading candidate to replace Ed Wade.  Their website was down so I couldn’t find a link.


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