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Phillies Load Up Bench, Stairs Out of Service

Feb 9, 2009, 12:29 AM EDT

Sometimes you go to the grocery store for bread and milk, forget to pick those up, and come home with three bags of Funyuns. But hell, Funyuns! Right? That seems to be what Ruben Amaro and the Phillies have done at the Winter Meetings. Instead of bullpen help, the Phillies have rounded out their bench with former Marlin Ross Gload.

But don't judge a book by its cover. According to Wikipedia, "On May 22, 2009 Gload made his pitching debut. Pitching a scoreless ninth inning versus the Tampa Bay Rays." So maybe he can help with the 'pen.

With the addition of a left-handed bat off the bench, this likely means the end of the Matt Stairs era in Philadelphia. Maybe that head coaching job up in Maine will be a nice little retirement for Mr. Emergency.

It's hard to argue that any bat off the bench wouldn't be more effective than how Matt Stairs performed to end the 2009 campaign, but that's not how Stairs will be remembered in Philadelphia. He'll be remembered for that one glorious swing in 2008 on that beautiful Los Angeles' night — a swing that helped change a city.

That said, Gload is a 33 year-old with minimal pop: 6 HRs, 30 RBIs, .265 BA, .329 OBP, .400 SLG in 125 games and 230 ABs in 2009 with Florida.

The Phillies have reportedly signed Gload to a 2-year deal.

Leader in the clubhouse for best horribly named fan group: Gload's Wet Sprockets [via Suss]