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Urbina: Say Hello to My Lil’ Machete

Dec 18, 2004, 11:09 PM EDT

Urbina_macheteEverybody hates when people steal their guns.. although not quite as much as when people hold your mother hostage for millions of dollars.  Throw in some machetes, gasoline poured on people who are then lit on fire, a few disobedient workers and you have yourself just another day in the life of the Philadelphia Phillies.  Venezuela is a scary place for professional athletes.  It reminds me of this one time when I was in Jamaica taking a "cab" back to our hotel from a night of Red Stripe and wet tee shirt contests.  We haggled with the driver to give us a ride back for 200 "Jay"and all was well in the world.  During the drive, the "Cabbie", while smoking a joint and drinking a beer, told us we would have to pay 400 "Jay."  "But we had just agreed to 200", we told him.  He proceeded to uncover a giant machete that was under his seat and somehow we remembered agreeing to pay 400 real quick.

Machetes are scary: (Inky)

Phillies relief pitcher Ugueth Urbina has
been questioned about his role in a bloody brawl Sunday on family
property in Venezuela, according to newspaper reports.

The incident occurred after a welcome-home party for the pitcher.
Urbina went out to eat, then returned about 2 a.m. with several people
to the farm in the town of Ocumare del Tuy, about 25 miles south of
Caracas, several Venezuelan newspapers reported.

According to one of the farm workers, Urbina started asking about a
firearm that had disappeared. The worker, 21-year-old Ricardo Osal,
told police that Urbina and others rounded up the workers, beat them,
attacked them with a machete, then splattered gasoline and paint
thinner on them and burned them.


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